RWBY: And now for something completely different
by Sir Godot
Summary: A collection of chapters that might turn into full stories one day. First chapter: Jaune must live with a Semblance ideal for a harem and all that entails. Second chapter: Archeologist "Indiana" Jaune Arc discovers his dislike for exploring ruins in Grimm infested regions - which is everywhere. Latest update: Ozpin messes up the paperwork for the new students. Glynda is not amused.
1. Family Man 1: Ruby Rose

**Well, time for something new. In order to combar my progressing lethargy, I told myself to publish this in chapters instead of one big one-shot so that I actually get anything done again. This story is the result of me playing too many video games and my brain mixing each and every series/game/book it knows to see what unholy offspring will be born. In this case the inspirational source was the PS Vita game "Conception II: Children of the Seven Stars". Occasionally stuff like this actually produces decent results. So here we have another story about Jaune gaining a Semblance (how original of me).  
**

 **So, enough preamble, enjoy the story.**

* * *

 **Summary:** "Jaune always heard that boys dreamt of having a harem. As father of 15 children with 6 women he did not quite share that sentiment. At all."

* * *

 **Jaune Arc, Family Man!**

 **Chapter 1: Ruby Rose**

The sun rose over Beacon Academy, and a new day began. However, this day was unlike most other days, for today was also the beginning of a new term for aspiring huntsmen and huntresses. They had arrived only yesterday, and after a bit of time to get to know each other, it was now time for them to take their first steps towards their career as slayers of the Grimm.

Among these hopefuls was one Jaune Arc, also (much to his dismay) known as "Vomit Boy" to some people. After being told how they would be partnered up for their remaining stay at Beacon, the worry was clearly visible on Jaune's face as he lined up with the others. However, what no one else but the boy himself knew was that his worries did not quite line up with that of the other students.

A brief glance at the blonde's mind revealed the following line of thought:

"Okay Jaune, keep it cool. You just have to make sure you end up locking eyes with a girl, ideally one of the girls you already met. Let's review... there's Ruby, she'd be a good pick. Possibly her sister, too – also, if it IS Ruby, I better stay clear of Yang, like, forever. Who else... ah yes, Snow Angel would be a great pick, and maybe the redhead I met at the lockers. Well, at least there are plenty of options. You can do it, Jaune! Just like good old dad told you, show confidence!"

Now, most people who saw such a line of thought would think that Jaune was only interested in finding a girlfriend instead of learning to fight for the survival of mankind. They would be wrong, for they were missing one key element that put Jaune's thoughts into quite a different light when added to the mix – his Semblance.

While a lot of Semblances didn't have proper names to describe their effect, in Jaune's case a name was necessary, as it couldn't be summed up with a description like "super speed". Thus the Semblance of Jaune Arc received the name... Family Man.

* * *

After getting launched into the forest below via catapult, courtesy of Headmaster Ozpin's odd sense of humour (camouflaged as a lesson to expect the unexpected), Jaune's day didn't get better. First he found himself losing a battle against gravity, the he got nailed to a tree by a spear that narrowly missed rather important parts of his body (in Jaune's opinion, everything). Meeting his new partner Pyrrha had been a definite plus in his book, and meeting up with Ruby and Weiss afterwards had also been fairly pleasant, even though Weiss had looked as if someone had just killed her favourite pet in front of her when she saw Jaune. However, neither of those events could balance out the huge minus that was the cave they came across...

* * *

Jaune and the three girls were all standing at the entrance of a dark cave, drawings of armed men and giant beasts decorating the stone. None of the four seemed overly enthused by the idea of entering the cave, so Jaune, who had been busy constructing a torch before, decided to break the slightly uncomfortable silence that had descended upon the group.

"So... you guys think this is it?"

Instead of answering, Weiss let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a growl before swiftly taking the torch out of Jaune's hand and entering the dark unknown.

"Well, at least Weiss seems to think so..." Ruby commented awkwardly. The young girl shared a glance with Pyrrha and Jaune before the three remembered that Weiss had the only torch and they hastily followed.

As the three hurried after the white haired girl, Jaune tried to lighten the somewhat tense mood. "Don't worry guys, I'm sure things will take a turn for the better soon!"

* * *

 _5 minutes later..._

"Okay, this situation could be better." Jaune said as he and Ruby managed to balance on a small rock formation _just_ out of the Death Stalkers' reach.

Normally Ruby alone would be enough to take on a single Death Stalker of course, but the problem was that it wasn't just one. In fact, they numbered in roughly a dozen, all of them filling the rather small cave to the brim.

Even Ruby was having a hard time staying on the rock they were standing on as it was not a very stable natural construction. The many Grimms constantly banging against it from below didn't exactly help either.

Their trip into the caves had started out well enough, but then Jaune had come across something glowing he had suspected to be one of the relics in question. Unfortunately it had turned out to be the tip of a Death Stalker tail instead, and as a result of four hunters-to-be and one Grimm getting VERY startled and trigger happy, a minor cave-in had occurred and separated the two partner sets.

And thus Ruby and Jaune found themselves balancing on a stalagmite by holding on to each other, staying just out of the reach of the other Death Stalkers, if only barely and most likely not forever.

"Do you have an idea, Jaune? I'm afraid all I have at the moment is to charge and hope for the best."

Ruby would have liked nothing more than to wait for Weiss and Pyrrha to come and help them, but that was an option they couldn't count on as they had no idea how far away their partners were.

At first Jaune was silent, but then he hesitantly replied. "Well, there is _one_ thing we could try..."

Ruby perked up. "Do you think it will help us?"

"It sure wouldn't make things worse."

"Well then, what is it? I don't think we have much more time." Ruby's claim was proven true when a Death Stalker managed to break away a significant portion of their stone tower's base.

Jaune swallowed. "Alright, just so you know, this is only because it's life and death and because you said you were okay with it. So if your sister tries to kill me later, please, PLEASE stop her."

This statement confused Ruby quite a bit. "Jaune, what are you talking abou-!"

The rest of her question was abruptly cut off when Jaune kissed her. And then there was light.

* * *

A few dozen yards away, Weiss and Pyrrha were quickly moving through the tunnels of the cave to find their missing partners. Thanks to Weiss's glyphs they could see even without a torch, but it was still far from bright.

"Is there any way to turn that thing's light up?" Pyrrha asked, the concern for her new friends clear in her voice.

Weiss suppressed the urge to snap at the redhead next to her. "I already told you, I don't have the right type of dust for a glyph that specializes in light making. I can't just say "Abracadabra" and it will get brighter – "

Just as Weiss said that, the cave before them got illuminated so much that the two had to shield their eyes briefly.

After the light had died down, Pyrrha gave Weiss a quizzical glance, as if she was wondering whether or not this was just a strange coincidence or not. However, the redhead suppressed the urge to ask and instead started to run again. As no Grimm could have produced such a light, it had to be related to Jaune and Ruby. She just hoped the two were alright, a thought shared by Weiss, despite the girl's rather unimpressed opinion of their teammates.

But neither was prepared for what awaited them in the cave ahead of them.

* * *

Back in the deepest part of the cave, Ruby's thoughts were not quite proceeding as usual. In fact her thoughts could be summed up as _'OH-MY-GOD-MY-FIRST-KISS-WHY-IS-JAUNE-KISSING-ME-ITS-KINDA-NICE-BUT-REALLY-NOT-THE-TIME-WHAT-AM-I-SUPPOSED-TO-DO-AND-WHY-ARE-WE-GLOWING – wait, what?'_

Once the shock of having her first kiss wore off, and just as Ruby was about to shove her apparently overly eager friend away (forgetting that this would send him into a pit of Grimm), Ruby realized that they were indeed glowing, but not from the magic of the moment but rather from the light of Jaune's aura. However, the strange thing was that she was being enveloped by it, and she could feel some kind of pull on her own aura.

Before Ruby could analyze this phenomenon any further it stopped. And then Ruby saw one of the most adorable and confusing sights ever.

On each of Jaune's shoulders stood a little child, both barely over one foot tall. One looked like a mini-Jaune, down to the clothes he was wearing, only with silver eyes and some facial features that looked somewhat familiar to Ruby. However, it was the second child that almost made Ruby slip off the rock they were still standing on, the Grimm below thankfully still recovering from the sudden flash of aura-powered light. On Jaune's right shoulder stood a figure that Ruby had seen quite often in her own baby photos, only with blue eyes instead of silver ones and clad in a miniature version of her own outfit.

While Ruby was still trying to comprehend the situation, Jaune nodded in satisfaction. "Two at first try, not bad! Alright kids, you know what to do!"

The two tykes nodded before materializing aura weapons in their hands; the boy a plain-looking sword and the girl a scythe that looked suspiciously similar to Ruby's Crescent Rose, if with less details. The two kids then leapt from Jaune's shoulders at great speed right into the group of Death Stalkers, who by now had recovered from the impromptu flash Jaune and Ruby had produced. However, they had a far harder time recovering from the flesh wounds they were suddenly suffering from as the two kids started to hack and slash away at them.

"Come on Ruby, we can't leave everything to the little ones!"

Jaune immediately used the opening the tiny terrors had created among the Grimm and joined the fight, while there was mostly one thing on Ruby's mind.

" _What the heck just happened?!"_

* * *

Once there had been an opening among the Death Stalkers, the battle had been easy enough. So now Ruby had a chance to talk to Jaune and figure out whether or not she had hit her head during the little cave-in that had separated them from their partners.

"So... those kids are the result of your Semblance."

"Yes."

"And it works by mixing your own aura with that of another person – "

"Actually, it only works with girls."

"Right, so you mix your aura with that of a girl to make... aura babies?"

Jaune nodded. "That's my power in a nutshell, yes."

Ruby just stared at her friend. This was without a doubt the strangest power she had ever seen, and that included her uncle's ability to make both humans and Grimm alike literally dance to his tune. (Not many knew that Qrow Branwen's nickname was actually "Lord of the Dance".)

Ruby felt that she should feel a little violated with what had just happened. After all, Jaune had taken her first k-kiss, and now they even had what amounted to children together! But any anger or confusion that Ruby should have felt were removed by one simple fact.

"OH MY GOD, THEY ARE SO ADORABLE!" Ruby squealed as she hugged her "babies" with all the strength of a little girl that swung around a giant sniper-rifle scythe hybrid on a daily basis.

It was to this scene, with Ruby hugging her "newborn children" and making a sound normally reserved for when she saw a new weapon that Pyrrha and Weiss finally arrived. Both saw the unexpected sight and their brains responded in the only possible way: with a mental blue-screen.

And a few miles away a certain blond brawler felt the inexplicable urge to kill a fellow blonde she had dubbed "Vomit Boy" yesterday.

* * *

Thankfully it hadn't taken Pyrrha and Weiss long to regain their bearings, and after a quick explanation Weiss had also been persuaded to remove the tip of her rapier from Jaune's crotch. Of course Weiss had immediately realized that there was no way that the blond dunce had actually knocked up her partner (Weiss felt her headache grow again when she remembered this fact) in the short time they had been separated, but the heiress had decided to play it safe.

"Your Semblance is the most ridiculous ability I have ever heard of. And that includes my sister's ability to control plush toys."

Back when Weiss had first learned about this from her sister she had tried (and failed) to hold back her laughter. However, that had quickly changed when she had been assaulted by an army of previously mocked plush toys. Also, as daughter of one of the richest men in the world, Winter did have enough funds to have things like a 50m tall super plush toy constructed that could easily crash fortress walls.

' _Even I felt sorry for those renegades... No one deserves to be squashed by a 50m tall plush rabbit.'_ Weiss thought as she replayed the gruesomely fluffy scene she had witnessed in her past. Shaking her head, her mind returned to the present, just as Pyrrha started to speak.

"Anyway, now that... _this_... has been taken care of, I think we should head back outside. We still have to find the relic and finish the test."

The others agreed, more than happy to escape the cave and the slightly uncomfortable atmosphere that had settled over them. The two little aura babies that were happily cuddling with their 'parents' didn't help either.

When they seemingly disappeared into Ruby, the young girl was understandably confused and more than a little surprised, which quickly turned into a minor panic attack.

"Jaune! I think I hugged our babies too hard! I squeezed them into me!"

"Relax, Ruby." Jaune assured her. "They just used up their energy and are recharging inside of you. Just think of it as their nap time."

This calmed the emotional girl down again, although she kept patting herself as if to find the place where her "babies" had disappeared into her.

"Don't worry," Jaune said with a confident voice that surprised the girls. "We just survived a horde of Death Stalkers! The rest of this test is going to be a cinch!"

* * *

 _10 minutes later..._

"Jaune?"

"Yes Pyrrha?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but... you are not allowed to say 'don't worry' again. Ever. Understood?"

Jaune once again surveyed their situation. Their group, consisting of eight individuals, was on a rather beat-up stone bridge that covered a seemingly bottomless abyss and two very big and very angry Giant Nevermores were circling around them.

"... You may have a point there."

* * *

 **And there you have the first chapter. If things go as planned, every chapter of this story should be about one girl and Jaune having "fun" with his Semblance. As I am quite flexible here, I am open to suggestions who you want next. I have a very vague outline, but I can also easily adapt to your wishes about the next girl.**

 **If you enjoyed the story, leave a review. Also, feel free to tell me to write more, I am surprisingly receptive to people telling me to do something.**

 **See you guys around.**

 **Sir Godot**


	2. Indiana Jaune 1: Part 1

**You might be wondering where the next chapter of "Jaune Arc, Family Man" is hiding. Well, there has been a change of plans. Instead of writing just one of my RWBY ideas, I decided to put all of them into a collection as I can never be sure that I will turn any of them into a full story. If they get long enough and I see a reader favorite, I might make some of the chapters into their own story. But for now, I'll just add to this as I go along. The next chapter might be an update for "Jaune Arc, Family Man", or for this new story, or it might be something completely different yet again.**

 **Still, please tell me what you think as your reviews and suggestions may have an impact on what I'll update next.**

 **Enjoy the story and see you at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

 **Summary:** "Jaune decided that being a Huntsman was not his dream job after all and became an archeologist instead. Sadly, fate has its ways to get its favorite victim out in the open anyway."

* * *

 **Indiana Jaune**

First Movie: Indiana Jaune and the Dragon's Eye

Chapter 1:

With a grace and speed that betrayed his experience, Jaune Arc happily moved his feather duster over the exhibits gathered in his room. Most of them were relics from times long passed, and only a few from recent history. Also, a majority of them were stone tablets and other storages of information rather than old weapons or armors as many of his colleagues were wont to collect and show off.

However, Doctor Jaune Arc, owner of a PhD in archeology of the University of Vale, was not like his colleagues. In the past he too had dreamed of adventure and epic battles and even considered a career as a huntsman, but that idea had quickly been squashed when he had both realized how late he had gotten that idea compared to other huntsmen and huntresses in training, and how dangerous it was to fight the Grimm.

After mentioning the idea to his parents, who had already sent a majority of Jaune's sisters to various hunter academies, they had proceeded to give Jaune the same talk they had given their girls about things like death tolls, common injuries, and a lack of dental insurance. Coupled with every other huntsman hopeful having years of a head start, Jaune had reconsidered his plans and instead enrolled at the University of Vale after he finished his mandatory schooling. He had quickly found an interest in history, an interest fueled by the fact that it was mainly studied in the library, far away from the Grimm and wildlife in general. Sure, it seemed like a cowardly decision, but Jaune felt that not everyone was cut out to be a huntsman or huntress. So Jaune happily studied long dead civilizations as many others his age were training to become super-powered monster killers.

Jaune did not regret his decision and waste thoughts on 'what-ifs'. He had his books and a job he enjoyed, coupled with a very nice workplace.

And perfectly maintained teeth. He really couldn't argue with the included dental insurance.

Unfortunately there was one minor problem with Jaune's current lifestyle. A problem called –

THUMP!

"Aaaaaahh!"

As an arrow impacted the shelves right next to his head, Jaune let out a very high-pitched masculine scream and promptly ducked for cover behind his nearby desk, narrowly avoiding the second arrow that quickly followed. As Jaune carefully glimpsed from behind his desk to the entrance of his office, he saw the source of all his problems and arrows aimed in his general direction: Chancellor Mustrum Port.

The chancellor, a man in his late 50s with an imposing grey beard and the build of a man who regularly went out to kill things bigger than himself barehanded, approached Jaune with a smile on his face and two empty crossbows in his hands.

"Jaune, my boy! Capital day, don't you agree? Also, good job with the second arrow after the warning shot. Why, just a week ago the second one would always nail you to your shelves."

Jaune winced, not just because of the memories but also because of the chancellor's volume. The man did not possess an indoor-voice or understand what people meant by that.

"Yes... good morning to you too, sir. To what do I owe the", Jaune was a little proud of himself that he did not even pause at this point, "honor of your visit today?"

At the question, Chancellor Port didn't answer at first, instead putting down his crossbows on Jaune's desk (Jaune doubted he could use even one of them with both his hands), and plugged the arrows from their wooden prison.

"You see, my boy, I'm afraid that we are in the process of downsizing some of our departments. Terrible news, why, even my brother at Beacon told me they had similar struggles. But as I am a fair man, it's all of them. Yours included."

Jaune instantly blanched. "Y-you're firing me?!"

The chancellor let out a hearty laugh and patted Jaune on the back, thankfully not with the hand holding the arrows. As it was, Jaune still nearly fell over from the force.

"Now, it's a little early to say that. For one, I am offering all those affected two options. One, do something that makes it worth for the university to keep their position as it is, or two, become my personal assistant."

Jaune was happy to hear that he had not yet lost his job, but a voice in the back of his head, the part responsible for keeping him alive, was already more than wary.

"... Could you elaborate, please? What would I have to do?"

"Well my boy, I told the guy at weapon development that he better come up with some new designs quick if he wants to keep working here. But as this is about downsizing, I said we couldn't give him any dummies to test them on. When I suggested doing it himself he started packing for some reason. Ah well, I never liked that guy anyway."

Jaune did not like where this discussion was heading. "And no one wanted to become your aide?"

"Yes, no one, can you imagine that?" Jaune could, but he wisely didn't say so. Maybe this was his ticket out of this yet. "I naturally told them what this would entail – like waking me up in the morning and doing all those tasks I delegate to them, and accompanying me on my exercise program."

The blond archeologist blinked. "That doesn't sound so bad – "

"Also, by orders of the faculty and our lawyers I am bound to mention that I sleep with two loaded crossbows. Oh, and that I jog through the Emerald Forest every morning. For some reason I have to tell people about that beforehand."

"... so, how many others are in danger of getting fired...?"

"Why Mr. Arc, you are actually the last one on my list. All the others already left the premises, so I can assure you that you'll get the position as my assistant if you want it."

When faced with the chancellor's beaming smile, Jaune considered his option. One was to leave his office and was unknown dangers, risk death everyday and slave away at conditions that would even make everything the Faunus experienced seem like a vacation in comparison. And the other was to go out and find some artifacts in the deadly world outside the cities.

After taking another look at the chancellor's crossbows, Jaune came to a decision that was surprisingly easy to make.

"... where is the first digging site, chancellor?"

Between uncertain death at old ruins vs. certain death being the chancellor's aide? As much as Jaune wanted to just leave, he knew that he would have a hard time finding employment at a different university; except for Vale none really had an archeology department. So he would have to go out and hope for the best.

The chancellor smiled broadly and once again nearly sent Jaune to the ground by slapping him on the back.

"Capital, my boy! Why, I know just the place, it was a scenic little place in the north I found during my last camping trip..."

* * *

 _The next day_

"... I should have picked the position as assistant. At least then I'd know how I'd die."

When Jaune arrived at the ruins described by the chancellor, he was even less sure of this business than at the beginning, and his confidence had been pretty much nonexistent from the start.

In front of him was a mountain. A crack had split its outer layer and revealed a cave that surprisingly enough seemed to contain a building of some kind. Either it had been built inside of the mountain, or it was so old that the mountain had grown around it. Both options spoke of old age, and while Jaune was quite interested in this actually, he was also very worried about the dangers. And he didn't even mean what could be inside of that ruin, oh no. He was in a forest after all. One infested by Grimm to be exact, but to be fair, that applied to pretty much every place outside of the kingdoms.

One might wonder why Jaune had even decided to go on this journey alone – he hadn't. When he had mentioned the site, the chancellor had also assured Jaune that he would send a team of huntsmen to protect and accompany him. Well, he had said so after Jaune had fallen to his knees and begged him for it.

"Crazy old man, not everyone can kill Grimm barehanded while jogging..." Jaune muttered as he investigated the crack in the mountain.

Sadly, the team of huntsmen had been delayed, and as Jaune _was_ on a deadline, he had decided to go ahead. The site wasn't that far away from the city, and Grimm rarely came this close to it according to the populace.

A growl coming from behind him made Jaune curse Murphy for singling him out like this constantly. As he turned around, Jaune saw that there was a pack of Beowolves closing in on him. They were still at a distance, but...

"Right between me and the city, of course." Jaune spoke with absolutely no emotion in his voice.

It has to be said at this point that Jaune was not afraid, oh no.

He was so terrified that he even forgot to tremble in fear.

When the first Beowolf charged at the blond archeologist, Jaune discovered that he had two working legs and promptly used them to move. At first he didn't even notice that he was charging right into the ruins, he was far too occupied with the "away from" to care about the "where to".

Jaune ran right into the building inside of the cave, hoping to find some place to hide until the support team came and could hopefully save him.

Those hopes were promptly squashed when the doors shut once Jaune ran past them.

Trapped in a dark ruin that no living soul had entered for possibly centuries, Jaune once again found his voice now that he no longer had to scream in fear while running away from Grimm.

"... I should have become an accountant."

And with these words, the ground gave away.

* * *

 _A few groundbreaking hours later..._

"So, Joanne, tell us more about your brother!"

A team of four people approached the same ruin as Jaune at a moderately urgent pace. These four were the team of huntsmen (well, one huntsman and three huntresses) hired by the chancellor to make sure the only thing that killed Jaune was him, eh, to protect Jaune from all dangers.

The one who had asked the question was an energetic girl named Nora Valkyrie. Next to her was the only guy on the team, although he did look pretty effeminate already: Lie Ren. The one the question had been aimed at was the leader of their recently graduated team and younger twin sister of Jaune, Joanne Arc. At her side was her partner and best friend, the famous Pyrrha Nikos.

"I already told you about him, Nora. And we really should hurry, who knows what could have happened to him because we were late!"

Joanne didn't look too much like her twin brother, the two merely sharing the hair color and some general features. Unless Jaune decided to grow his hair out and wear it in a braid, the two were unlikely to be identified as twins.

"You can't really blame anyone for that delay, engine problems can always happen."

Ren's contribution to the discussion was calm as always, but it was still obvious that he too wished to find their client soon, if only for Joanne's sake.

Still, Joanne was not assured completely by this. "I still don't understand why he didn't wait for us... Jaune is not a fighter, he would be in real danger if he was ambushed by Grimm!"

"Don't you remember? There's a deadline from his university for this job." Pyrrha reminded her friend. "He probably feared for his job, and as this region is known to be pretty tame as far as Grimms go, he figured he'd risk it."

Jaune's sister grimaced at this. "Okay, I can see that, but... Jaune has REALLY rotten luck."

Ren raised an eyebrow. "It can't be that bad..."

A dry look was his answer. "Jaune once found a penny. Only it had been lying on the ground the entire day, and it was noon on a hot summer day when he picked it from the street. He still has the burn scar on one of his fingers."

The rest of the team had nothing to say after this. Joanne's family had never been too much of a topic, aside from her telling them that she was one of seven sisters (all huntresses) and one brother who was an archeologist. The oddity of him choosing such a career when the rest of his family was in the huntsman business had raised some eyebrows when Joanne had told the story, but they didn't think any less of him for it. Not everyone was born for a life of almost constant battles.

Ren's voice pulled them out of their thoughts again. "I think I see the place we're looking for."

"Really? Any sight of Jaune?" Joanne asked hopefully.

"... no. But I do see a pretty large pack of Beowolves."

The rest of the team blanched and doubled their speed, no longer holding anything back.

When the Grimm finally noticed them, it was already too late. Team work honed through years of practice lay waste to the enemies of man in not even a minute. However, while normally they would at least congratulate each other for a job well done, they had other things to worry about this time.

"Can you see anything that belongs to Jaune?" Joanne asked her team mates. When they shook their heads, Joanne raised her voice. "Jaune? Can you hear me? It's me, Joanne, it's safe to come out now!"

But silence was the only answer they got. As Joanne was getting more and more restless, Pyrrha spoke up again.

"Maybe he went inside the ruins when the Grimm showed up." Pyrrha's suggestion made the dread in Joanne's chest go down a little. However...

A loud rumble caught their attention, and the four immediately resumed fighting stances.

But as it turned out, it was not necessary, for the noise was coming from the mountain, as the crack seemingly started to seal itself up again.

"NO!"

Joanne attempted to reach the mountain before it closed, but before she had crossed even half of the way, the entrance was no more. The Arc huntress was overwhelmed with different emotions as this happened, and the looks on the faces of her team mates were also a mix of shock and distress.

Team JNPR had been too late.

"COMING THROUUUUUUUGH!"

Until a very strange shout pulled them out of their feelings of misery.

The four huntsmen looked up and saw a human-shaped shadow descend from the peak of the mountain.

At very high speeds actually.

However, instead of ending up as a vaguely human sized stain on the ground, the figure suddenly did a roll in midair and gracefully landed on the ground in a pose that would have made professional ice skaters look like amateurs.

Thus Jaune Arc returned from the depths of hell.

And about two seconds later a very large gem fell down and landed perfectly in Jaune's outstretched right hand.

Joanne's reaction to this summed up what everybody present was thinking.

"Wha...?"

As Jaune stood up, he saw his sister and not so much walked as swaggered over to her.

"Hey Joanne, I didn't know you'd be the team they sent. Nice to meet you, guys, name's Jaune Arc. Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to take this little beauty I here I found inside of those ruins back to my university. See you later ladies!"

And with that he was already gone, going so fast it seemed as if he was flying.

Finally Ren regained his wits and voice. "... What just happened?"

"... I have no idea either." Joanne admitted.

As Nora stared into the direction Jaune had taken off to, she noticed something. "Hey, what's that?"

She picked it up from the ground. "Hey, Rennie, what's this? Looks like a dart or something."

Her friend took the mysterious object and took a closer look at it before also bringing it close to his nose and taking a careful sniff.

"It's indeed a dart, one used to poison someone. But from the smell of it, I'd say it's pretty old already, I have no idea if this poison would still work."

Shaking her head, Joanne returned to where her friends stood. "I guess we better go after Jaune and ask him what actually happened. I've never seen him act like that, and I'm more than a little worried. Everyone ready to go? Ren, Nora? Pyrrha? ... Pyrrha?"

As she was asking her team mates for confirmation, she noticed that Pyrrha had not said anything since Jaune had fallen out of the sky. In fact, she was still staring in the direction Joanne's brother had disappeared into with a slightly vacant expression on her face.

And a blush.

And a little bit of drool escaping from her mouth.

"Eh... Pyrrha? You okay, partner?"

Whatever Joanne had expected as answer, it was not what Pyrrha said.

"You've been keeping THAT a secret from us, Joanne? Come on, let's not waste another second, you HAVE to introduce me to him!"

And with that Pyrrha Nikos took off at a speed similar that surprised even the rest of her team.

"Woohoo, racing time!"

Another shout, and Nora ran off just the same.

Ren and Joanne exchanged a glance as they had done many times before, mostly when it concerned Nora.

"It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?" Joanne asked with a deadpan voice.

"That could be the name of my biography, really." Ren answered.

With a sigh the two remaining (and currently sane) members of Team JNPR followed their team mates and Jaune. Hopefully they'd get some answers before the day was over.

* * *

A few miles ahead of them, Jaune was happily skipping across the ground, the giant gem still in his arms. If one took a closer look at his back, they'd notice several poison darts sticking in it. Now, normally even one of those would have killed any man or woman, but seeing how this ruin had been hidden away for centuries, one could not expect the poison to be in perfect condition. In fact, the formerly deadly substance had lost most of its effect and was only capable of making someone feel lightheaded.

But if you took several of them and combined them with a person not skilled enough to dodge even one of them...

Then you got Jaune Arc who was currently as high as a kite in the stratosphere.

A few hours later Jaune would come down from his trip and be appropriately terrified about what he had seen inside of those ruins. Coupled with what he would still experience in the future as a result of this little adventure, it was safe to say that Jaune would soon long to get shot by the darts again - only by a fresh version of them to finally end his suffering.

Naturally, Jaune was not that lucky.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap for chapter 1. I admit, I already have a general outline for about four movies for "Indiana Jaune", but naturally only the first one is worked out in more detail.**

 **What are your thoughts? Instead of just giving Jaune a Semblance, this story takes a radically different approach on Jaune's life, not as a huntsman, but as an archeologist. Only unlike the original Indiana, Jaune isn't brave. Imagine him more like Rincewind of the Discworld novels. I already have plans for Jaune to get the trademark whip though, but it naturally will involve various whacky hijinks.**

 **Also, with the new direction of this story revealed, here some of the ideas I have in store. And yes, they are also Jaune centered (but not all are of the humor genre). What can I say, he's fun to write.**

 **\- Jaune Infinity: In which Jaune gets expelled and finds a pocket watch that sends his soul back to the beginning of the day. (Based on the PSP game "Disgaea Infinity")**

 **\- Sword and Shield: In which Jaune finds an ancient sword that starts to talk to him. The sword's name? Shirou Emiya. (Crossover with Fate/Stay Night)**

 **\- Jaune for All: In which Jaune's Semblance is a power inherited from his father, a power passed down from one generation to the other... One For All! (Elements from Boku no Hero Academia)**


	3. Happily Ever Partnered: Part 1

**Wow, time sure flies. I apologize for the long wait since I last updated, but for once I have an actual excuse! Turns out that graduating university and getting a job can actually take up your time.**

 **But enough about me, here's an idea I actually had quite a while ago, and it's actually one of my favourites. Unlike the previous drabbles this is NOT Jaune-centric, although he does appear (but not in this chapter.)**

 **And with that I give you my take on a rom-com story.**

* * *

 **Summary:** When filling out the forms for the new Beacon teams, Ozpin accidentally uses the wrong documents. As a result, the partners become even closer partners... but not quite as planned. At least there is cake.

* * *

 **Happily Ever Partnered**

Ozpin was tired. That fact was not something that unusual considering the man's job and workload. However, much to the gray-haired man's displeasure, Glynda had also confiscated his coffee (something about three liters per day unhealthy), and thus Ozpin was forced to prepare the paperwork for the students that would arrive tomorrow while fighting off the encroaching tiredness he felt.

Thankfully he was almost done with the collection of legal disclaimers every student would have to sign, covering the usual problems that might happen at Beacon, like getting hurt during combat classes or dismembered during excursions.

'Let's see, all that's missing is the document for the partner. … where did I put it?'

Ozpin scanned his rather messy desk and couldn't find the paper he had prepared. Deciding that looking for it would only be a waste of even more time, the headmaster ultimately turned his attention to his computer and decided to print the missing document again.

'Where did I put it again...? Well, I guess that's what the search function is for. Ah, there we.. go...'

His current line of thought was slightly interrupted when a yawn forced its way out of Ozpin's mouth.

In the timeline most people are familiar with, this did not affect anything since Glynda hadn't withheld the headmaster's coffee. In this world, however, Ozpin was rather tired and thus didn't see through his tiredness-induced blurry vision that he selected another document from his computer instead of the correct one.

This document was then printed out and added to the mix of other papers that each student would have to sign the next day. And since it was getting rather late, Ozpin merely dropped the stash of papers on the spot on his desk where some underpaid lackey would find it and then take it to the printing room.

At this point in time Ozpin had no idea what he had accidentally unleashed. But since he was REALLY tired at this point, he probably wouldn't have cared either way and instead slowly walked towards his bedroom.

If Glynda had known that everything that followed could have been avoided by giving Ozpin another cup of his damn coffee, she would have personally force-fed the liquid to him.

* * *

It was two days later that Ozpin's blunder was actually noticed.

The new students had passed the initiation test and were sorted into partners and teams by now, with each of them having signed their collection of legal papers when they first arrived. With those who had failed sorted out, Glynda was free to check over the paperwork manually and catalogue it properly. It had already run through their computers once, but Glynda liked to make sure herself that everything was in proper order.

So imagine her surprise when she opened the very first bundle of documents and saw one page that definitely did NOT belong there.

At first Glynda thought it was a mistake, possibly a prank. But after a quick check of every other set of documents confirmed that they all had the very same page, signed and all.

"Oh no..." Glynda said, a small amount of dread beginning to approach her mind.

After checking all the papers properly, said dread had now transformed into an army and successfully invaded the city that was her mind.

Every student had signed the incorrect paper. This was not so much a problem that something was not covered, they could sign more papers after all, no, the problem was the one they had already signed.

There was only one thing Glynda could do at this point.

"Ozpin..." the woman growled.

Namely, blame Ozpin.

* * *

"I wonder why we have to attend another announcement already," Ruby Rose, the leader of the newly formed Team RWBY said as she and her teammates stood in the hall with the other new students.

Her sister shrugged, "Meh, probably more daily stuff. Or maybe someone got caught doing something naughty and now they want to tell us to behave~"

At the last part, Yang's own partner, Blake, raised an eyebrow and looked at the blond.

"Something you want to tell us...?" the bow wearing girl asked.

Yang looked at her partner in fake shock, "Blake, I am scandalized that you would think something like this about me! … Also, I am not saying anything with potential witnesses around."

The last girl of the team, Weiss, resisted the urge to massage her temples. It would be a sign of weakness, and a member of the Schnee family did not do weakness.

Their friends, Team JNPR, was likewise not sure what this meeting was all about, and by the looks on the faces of the other teams, no one was.

Then finally Ozpin and Ms Goodwitch appeared on the stage of the auditorium. Ruby blinked when she saw the two walk up to the center of the stage, the headmaster seemed to be limping and Ms Goodwitch looked even less forgiving than usual. Next to her, Blake looked at the teachers suspiciously. Her eyes were quite a bit better than those of her teammates, so she could see that Ozpin had used make-up to cover the fact that he had a black eye. The thought that someone could harm the headmaster, a legend among huntsmen, and apparently get away with it, was a chilling thought. This meeting might be more serious than she had thought.

"Ahem," Ozpin began, his voice a little strained. "I apologize for calling another meeting so soon and unscheduled, but this morning a rather... urgent matter has been brought to my attention that involves all first year students."

This definitely caught everyone's attention quickly, so Ozpin continued.

"You see, in the set of legal documents you signed when you first arrived here, there was the "Partner Document" that basically confirms that you are given a partner for your stay at Beacon. Normally, this is all it does. However, due to a... bureaucratic mistake," when he said this, Glynda's glare was strong enough that it was a miracle Ozpin didn't spontaneously combust, "the wrong document was put into the mix and signed by all of you."

The students remained silent, clearly wondering what exactly the problem was.

Ozpin sighed, "Seeing how there is no other way to explain this without sounding like I am making something up, let me be frank. By signing the document in question you officially married your respective partners."

Again the students were silent, but this time their faces all portrayed various stages of shock and disbelief.

Since no one had started screaming yet, Ozpin took the silence as a good sign.

"… to celebrate this occasion, Beacon has organized a large selection of cakes in the cafeteria in lieu of a wedding cake. So... congratulations everyone?"

And _then_ the screaming started.

* * *

"This is an outrage!" Weiss, uh, still raged two hours later. By now the teams had returned to their rooms and were planning how they would murder their headmaster.

The situation in the auditorium had deteriorated quickly after the headmaster had dropped that bombshell on them. Screams, tears and explosions had been involved, along with some fainting. Needless to say, Ozpin had quickly left the hall after shouting that he would receive visitors in his office in the evening, no doubt hoping his students would be less inclined to murder him after eating some of the promised cake.

At least the cake had been delicious. No reason to waste perfectly good not-wedding cake by not eating it just because they planned to murder the headmaster shortly.

"Not that I disagree," Blake said, careful to remain outside of the girl's reach, "But we've been angry long enough. We need to look at those documents closely and see if there are any loopholes."

"You mean like we should have done BEFORE signing them?" Yang drawled.

Blake glared at her. "You also didn't read the fine print. No one EVER reads the fine print"

"Yeah, but look at me – stuff like that is what people expect from me. But you and the new Mrs. Rose? I didn't expect you to skip over that stuff as well and only sign where you saw empty lines."

Weiss and Blake had the decency to blush, although in Weiss's case it was also due to a new wave of anger. "Who are you calling 'the new Mrs. Rose'?! Like I would ever take another's name, if anything your sister would be the new Mrs. Schnee!"

Yang stared at her. "… nice to see you have your priorities straight. Speaking of the other Mrs. Schnee... "

At this Yang turned to the fourth bed in the room where a catatonic Ruby was sitting, unmoving and staring at the wall without blinking. Yang raised one hand to her ear and leaned close to her sister.

"Fifteen and married... fifteen and married... fifteen and married..."

The older sister sighed, "Yeeeeah, still a broken record. That's gonna take a while to sink in."

The white haired girl glared at her. "And why are you so relaxed anyway? You are also married, why are you not pounding on the headmaster's door right now?"

"Oh, believe me," Yang's eyes flashed red, "I am plenty pissed, but at the moment? Not the time to punch someone's face. That comes later. Plus, part of me thinks this is beyond hilarious."

As she started to laugh, two sets of eyes looked at her incredulously.

"You, you think this is FUNNY?!" Weiss screamed, "We are married because of a bureaucratic mistake! MARRIED! Are you even aware what that means?!"

Yang remained calm at Weiss's outburst.

"Well, I think it's like this. Either we manage to get everything annulled and the problem is solved. But seeing how Ozpin didn't say anything about that, I doubt it's that easy. And if we can't get this fixed, well," she gave Blake a VERY blatant once over and smirked, "I could have done a lot worse in terms of who I married."

At this both Blake and Weiss blushed profusely, with Blake crossing her arms in front of her chest as if to ward off Yang's eyes.

But Weiss quickly recovered by once again focussing on her anger. "No! I refuse! I will go to the headmaster's office right now, and I will get a divorce or there will be a reckoning! I will not call my father or sister and tell them that I got married in my first week at school – and that I didn't invite them for it!"

With that the white haired girl left the room, dragging the still unmoving Ruby along with her, either to have her at hand to sign any necessary paperwork or to user her as a blunt object to murder Ozpin with – either or at this point.

Back in Team RWBY's room, only Yang and Blake remained. A slightly uncomfortable silence descended upon them.

In the end if was Blake who broke it.

"So, you think we don't have much of a chance to get this marriage annulled?"

Yang shrugged. "Like I said, if it was that easy they would have told us. Probably a lot of problems involved. So I'm not holding my breath."

Blake nodded, it did make sense. Ozpin didn't strike her as the type to have everyone married out of some misguided drive to pair his students with each other.

A blush crept across her face as she recalled Yang's previous words. "And, uh, thanks for the compliment I guess."

Yang's smirk reminded Blake of that one time she ate a canary. "Why thank you, darling~ And just so you know, one of us REALLY needs to take the other's name. Xiao-Long-Belladonna or Belladonna-Xiao-Long sounds dreadful."

And like that, the blush was gone.

"… idiot."

* * *

 **And there you have it folks, the beginning of what I hope to be the funniest story I ever started.**

 **Because, let's be honest, this would be funny enough with only Team RWBY, and I have a lot more characters to write about. The next chapter of this will cover Team JNPR and some other stuff. I hope I can get it out soon, but I won't make any promises about when that will be. If you are on SpaceBattles though you might see it a little earlier, I stopped just lurking there and actually posted something for a change.**

 **Anyway, have fun and tell me what you think.**

 **Sir Godot**


	4. Happily Ever Partnered: Part 2

****Well, hello guys, been a while, right?  
*ducks for cover to dodge various projectiles*  
Do to my job my time has been rather limited lately, so I didn't get much writing done.  
Hmm? No, this has absolutely nothing to do with Mass Effect Andromeda or Persona 5, why the question?****

 **Anyway, here's the 2nd part of "Happily Ever Partnered", this time focusing on some other characters, enjoy!**

 **And as always, feedback and comments are always welcome.**

 **Until next time,  
Sir Godot**

* * *

 **Happily Ever Partnered**

While a certain white-haired girl was busy trying to break into the headmaster's office with her partner (either just dragging the catatonic cape-wearer along or using her to smash open the door), other groups had different ways to cope with this unforeseen event.

In the room of Team JNPR, two of the inhabitants were sitting on the bed, blushing so much that the transition between hair and face was seamless for the female one of the two. The boy meanwhile tried his best to match her colour-wise, occasionally stuttering words that might have been words under different circumstances.

The other half of the team occupied the same spot on another bed. They only used up the space of one person because the other girl had wrapped her arms tightly around her partner and was eagerly jumping up and down on the bed like a child that had been told every day was Christmas from now on. The boy in her arms had passed out, but whether this was from shock or the constant shaking caused by the jumping, no one could say. Here too barely understandable words were being uttered, but instead of being stuttered, these words almost didn't qualify for the plural, for they were strung together by the high speed of the speaker, making them one constant stream of articulation that ignored such minor things as the speaker's need for air.

If one listened closely it sounded something like this: "OhmygoshRennycanyoubelievethisweremarriedthisisthebestdayeverweregonnabetogetherforeverandyoucanmakemepancakeseverydayandwearetogethertogethernowandwillneverbeaparteveragainthisisthebestthingeverwhatdoyouthinkshouldwebuildahouseiwantapuppyandakittyandthreechildrenandtheywillbejustlikeusand"

Even Doctor Oobleck of Beacon Academy would ask the person speaking like this to slow down.

And if one had the power to take a look into the mind of the fainted young man, his thoughts could be summed up like this:

"I'm never going to have a single peaceful day or night ever again."

He was probably right.

Returning to the other side of the room...

Jaune Arc had finally regained his usual wit and managed to formulate a proper sentence.

"We're married."

Unfortunately, his wit had never been something to write home about. Thankfully his more than talented partner was there to help him out!

"We're married."

Unfortunately, Pyrrha had less than stellar social skills, and faced with such an unexpected situation, her wit was likewise impaired.

In despair, Jaune clutched his head. "My family is going to kill me, I ran away from home and got married not even a month later! Wait, no, they won't kill me for that, that's exactly what my parents did. They're gonna kill me for not inviting them! And my mom will ask if a grandchild is already on the way!"

The last sentence triggered a rather vivid mental image in Pyrrha's head. This image promptly got up and got in the driver's seat of Pyrrha's mind, making her speak up. Pyrrha grabbed Jaune's shoulders with both hands and looked him deeply into the eyes-

"Jaune, relax. I know this was sudden, but we're partners. We'll get through this and make it work, one way or the other. I am here for you."

It was an inspiring thing to say, something that expressed the bond between the two partners and the unwavering support Pyrrha was prepared to give to Jaune. It was the perfect thing to say to calm the situation.

"… Pyrrha, your nose is bleeding... and why are you smiling like that?"

… or it would have been, had the vivid image in Pyrrha's head not taken full control of her actions.

Pyrrha's smile only widened.

"Oh, Jaune, relax, everything is fine. Ah, Nora?"

Their orange-haired teammate interrupted her bouncing and looked at the two. "Yes?"

"Be a dear and find a quiet place for you and Ren for, let's say, a few hours? And lock the door on the way out, okay?"

Nora saluted, Ren now tucked away under one arm, still unconscious.

"Roger that! Have fun you two~"

And with that, she was gone, the door closing with a sound that somehow reminded Jaune of an iron prison door despite being made of wood. The sound of the turning keys only added to the sense of finality. Very carefully he turned to his partner.

"W-why did you send them away?" he asked hesitatingly.

Despite an angelic smile being the answer, Jaune did not feel reassured.

"Well Jaune, seeing how we ARE married, I think it's only wise for us to learn more about the married life, wouldn't you agree?"

Jaune wasn't really sure, but he couldn't fault Pyrrha's logic. "... yes?"

Pyrrha continued, "Then we should start with the most important step: consumating the marriage."

Her partner blinked. "Consu-what now?"

The angelic smile never left Pyrrha's face. "Sex, Jaune. We should have sex."

The metaphorical light-bulb in Jaune's mind finally reveived electricity. "Oh. Oh. Oooooh. That sounds... nice. But eh, I don't really have any hands-on experience. Well, technically it was hands-on, but more in a literal sen-"

"Sssh." Pyrrha placed her fingers on Jaune's lips, cutting off his ramblings.

"Relax. My mother told me all I need to know and I have always been curious about applying it. Now, let me give you a hands-free hands-on experience."

"What's that supposed to - wow!"

However, any further questions were downgraded in priority when he suddenly felt his breastplate fly away as if controlled by invisible forces. Only moments later he also noticed that the zipper of his pants had apparently gained sentience and was trying to escape south, leaving the figurative borders of his pants wide open.

Pyrrha then demonstrated that she had been a very avid student of this particular subject, which both she and Jaune quickly came to enjoy.

Jaune's mother had always told him that cheaters never prospered. At this very moment he discovered that he might actually be okay with that if not prospering meant getting laid with your very attractive partner.

* * *

But of course, not all partners had as positive experiences as half of RWBY and JNPR.

Indeed, while Pyrrha was discovering that Jaune had a talent for using a certain "spear", Cardin Winchester was running through the halls of Beacon like a man possessed. Or rather, a man trying to escape being possessed.

"Oh Cardin, stop running~~~"

That voice sent the not so welcome kind of shivers down Cardin's spine, and despite having been on the run for two hours by now, he forced himself to move just a little further, coincidentally collapsing directly in front of the door to Team JNPR's room. Thus Cardin was the first to hear a very telling symphony of throaty sounds and creaking springs coming from that room, along with a clearly female voice loudly moaning the name "Jaune~" over and over, plus additional "Oh"s and "Ah"s.

At this very moment Cardin never hated and envied a man more than Jaune Arc.

Deciding that if he had to suffer from exhaustion and being pursued, he at least didn't want to add mental torture to the ever growing list of his troubles. Therefore Cardin dragged himself a little further and finally came to rest next to another door, taking a deep breath.

His mind momentarily at ease, Cardin began to ponder the situation. _"But seriously, those two were putting the bed through a lot, the sound hadn't gotten any quieter at a-"_

"Oh, Yang~~!"

"Relax, Blake... just leave everything to me~~"

…

Cardin had never believed in Karma. But considering that someone was currently wanted his ass most likely literally on a silver platter, that the guy he had pegged as a pushover was having the time of his life with one of the hottest girls in school, and that two of the other hottest girls at school by all accounts had decided to embrace the bureaucratic error (and each other), thus reducing the pool of datable women even further... well, it made Cardin think.

In fact, he was close to achieving a minor bit of enlightenment, something that would help him grow as a person and see beyond the prejudices he had kept for so long.

"Found you, Cardin~~~"

Or at least he would have, had he not screamed like a little girl and run away again, his partner Russel pursuing him with a blush on his face and a ball-gag in hand.

This caused the following dialogue in another room:

"Did you hear something?"

"Probably someone else having fun. Now come on, put on this apron!"

"Won't Ren mind?"

"Don't worry about it, we'll deal with that later."

Truly, Beacon was a place of wonder.

* * *

The students parted before Weiss as if she were a prophet parting the seas. She had been unable to reach the headmaster, despite Ms Goodwitch's support. Apparently Ozpin had reinforced his office, but when the two had finally broken it open, the grey-haired hunter had been nowhere to be found.

"When I find that man I will make him rue the day he decided to keep this stupid marriage form on his computer! Why did he even have those?!"

Weiss's curse made a lot of students retreat even further.

Meanwhile, in the depths of Fort Port (No girls allowed!), Ozpin shivered as he felt his premonitions of doom intensify.

Staring at his mug, hoping that it would reveal to him the answer to how to escape this mess, Ozpin considered doing what all those involved with management or politics did at one point.

Blaming someone else.

"Maybe I should put the blame on Taiyang... after all, if it hadn't been for him sleeping with his team, we wouldn't have needed those papers..."

On a humorous side note, the term "shotgun wedding" did not exist prior to Taiyang Xiao-Long getting married. It was also not a metaphor at first. To this day Ozpin was thankful that the man was following the ruling that forbid him to come to Beacon while unmarried people were at the school.

He did not want a repeat of Taiyang's graduating year, thank you very much.

Unaware of the relationship between her current problem and the family of her partner, Weiss and a still catatonic Ruby had finally returned to their room, with the red cape wearer getting dragged along by her partner. Weiss's plan was to recharge here (both mentally and literally) before looking for Ozpin once again. She had been surprised that not too many students had plans like her. And strangely enough, there hadn't been many students on campus. They had passed a lot of rooms with ties on the doorhandles though. Weiss simply assumed they had run out of space for their dirty laundry, but maybe this was actually a code for something else...

 _"Thoughts for later. Now, I need some more dust first."_

With that in mind Weiss opened the door to the room she shared with her other team mates and promptly saw more than she had ever wanted to see of Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao-Long. She also saw that yes, Huntresses in training were quite flexible.

And she would have to burn the sheets of everyone's bed the next day, just to be sure.

Blake and Yang, despite having been quite engrossed in their... activities, had noticed Weiss entering and had then ceased all motion.

The stare-off continued for a moment that felt much longer than it actually was.

Just as Weiss's mind had finally rebooted to the point she could say (or scream) something about this situation, she was once again interrupted when Yang resumed her earlier activities, no longer paying any mind to the heiress. Thankfully the still unresponsive Ruby was outside the door and couldn't see anything (no matter whether she would have noticed or not.)

Seeing how Yang's actions were quickly winning Blake's attention over, Weiss did the most sensible thing of the day.

She quietly closed the door, her face blank.

"Ruby, we can no longer sleep in that room. Let's ask Team JNPR if we can stay with them for at least one night."

With Ruby probably agreeing with her, Weiss turned to the door on the other side of the corridor and knocked three times. She had some whispering and rustling clothes and felt her dread rise.

The door opened and the enthusiastic voice of Jaune Arc answered. "Hey there Weiss, how's it going? Need anything?"

But not even Jaune acting as if nothing was wrong could prepare Weiss for Jaune Arc opening the door wearing nothing but an apron.

And Weiss hoped, she desperately hoped, that he was hiding a pastry bag or something similar under it. At waist-height. Pointed in her direction.

At Weiss's blank stare, Jaune had the decency to blush.

"… it was Pyrrha's idea."

This time she did scream.

* * *

Back in her office, Glynda Goodwitch, after making sure no one could see her, cleaned her right ear with her pinky.

"It's always the proper acting ones... Though I do wonder how Mrs. Rose could make her partner scream THAT loudly..."

* * *

Time passed and eventually Ruby blinked, her eyes regaining clarity.

"Wow, what happened? I think I zoned out there for a bit..."

Looking around she discovered that she was in the library, one of the more comfortable reading spots where you could spend a comfortable afternoon if you liked reading in a quiet place.

Ruby had no idea how she had gotten there. She also became aware that her arm was feeling off, as if her blood circulation wasn't working properly there.

Turning her head she discovered that the source of this feeling was her partner Weiss, who clung to her arm as if it was a lifeline.

The white-haired girl's eyes were also wide open and unblinking.

"… Weiss?"

No reaction.

"… this is gonna be a looooong day."

* * *

In the part of Beacon where the higher year students had their dorms, Coco looked at the general chaos happening at her school with her scroll, checking the student message boards and the occasional shared video.

"That's actually really unfair," Coco said as she put her scroll away, a slight pout on her lips. "Why is it always the first years that get to have all the fun? It would have been great if we had been married."

Her teammates turned their heads simultaneously to look at her, all with the same flat expression on their faces.

"Coco," Velvet eventually began. "Just think for a moment. How exactly would it change **anything** if we were to marry each other?"

Coco looked at Velvet, who was currently hugging her and resting her head on her chest, which was barely covered by the sheets. Yatsuhashi was serving as a body-pillow for her to lean against and Fox was busy giving her a leg massage. All of them wore the same amount of clothes, which was to say, nothing at all.

The brown-haired huntress in training regarded her harem as she pondered Velvet's words.

"You know, you actually have a point there."


End file.
